What's Ailing the Ry-ry?

time for a change

2010-04-01T16:11:00.004-05:00

It's a new month and Lent is almost over, so I've decided to change What's Ailing the Ry-ry to the more positively focused "What's Not Ailing Anyone".

I hope you new readers will enjoy the change in theme since you have probably only know me as a more positive blogger. But to those of you who've been with me all along, I know it's going to be a change of pace for you, but hang in there with me, it's all going to be worth it. The page views and subscribers have increased by 115% since the positivity has started flowing, and I've been told by Wifey this increase can continue.

So what will it be like in the future? Pretty much the exact opposite of this was started, and more like the last 37 or so days. Joe, I'm talking to you - it may not be the most subversive but it's going to be the most profitable.

Thanks so much for all your support during this change, and have a great Day.

Your Friendly, Good-feeling Blogger,
Ryan

the ABA used to have "3 to make 2"

2010-03-31T22:37:00.003-05:00

I'd like to start and end with a couple of positive things, but in the meantime I'm "gonna hit ya" with some old school "Ailing Ry-ry" stuff that can't wait until the end of Lent (because I'll forget).

It's only 5 days since Wifey's birthday, but I cannot let her awesomeness go by (I don't want her getting too big an ego so I try to praise her too many times in succession, even if deserved). She was a great partner to me tonight - she came home from running in prep for a half marathon and let me go to the cell phone place to look into new phones since mine is going caput as fast as can be, then she made dinner which I ate as soon as getting back. She also got online and found and purchased the phone we think is going to be best for our plan. Oh, and she did the dishes (my usual time to enjoy some radio or podcasts) & got Meavy's stuff ready for daycare tomorrow, all while I watched a loveumentary about Apple and Steve Jobs (those people really love that machine and guy). Niice.

However I do have a couple of things to complain about (shocker!).
1) bruised pinky finger (it feels so manly to write out the word "pinky")
2) throwing up last night was bad enough, but it's making me rethink my enjoyment of smoking an occasional cigar
3) I've still got the taste of bad smoke and sickness stuck in my throat all day - yuck
4) seriously... does no one else hear that ringing sound? It's like there's a constant small gong being rung about 200 yards away. You don't hear that? So frustrating!

Wifey checked on the kid tonight, like she always does before going to bed and I'm glad I followed her up there because we had to change out the sheets and clothes of the little one. She threw up earlier (I know the feeling) and it was all over her bed and it stunk especially bad for the fact it had been just sitting there for a couple of hours and fermenting. The good thing is that we seem to either blessed or lucky or something to have such minor problems and we tend to work really well together.

Can't wait til Lent is over? Join the club and hold your breath for Mon. This lovey-dovey stuff has been fine, but it's costing me readers.

economics and freakonimics

2010-03-30T22:23:00.002-05:00

I have recently become very interested in economics (so recent in fact that I have to slow down to be sure I spell it correctly). This kind of new fascination doesn't always take for an eon in me (see the fading allure of scotch - now a whiskey interest. However, I've gotten into a podcast about the topic from NPR and back into the writings of Michael Lewis and I am absolutely enthralled with knowing why people and companies act the way they do when it comes to spending & making money.

On a completely different note, I just smoked a cigar and I think that enchantment is passing me as well. I about to go get sick

what is a vegan handbag?

2010-03-29T16:51:00.002-05:00

I have no idea, nor do I care, and nor is this post about handbags of any sort - vegan or otherwise. I will tell you that my parents rocked it this weekend. They were kind enough to want to spend time with the (at this time) one & only granddaughter. They let Wifey & I go out to celebrate her birthday on Friday night, then go out again Sat night with some friends, as well as all the other stuff we did throughout the weekend. And they were great with her, too. Paying attention at all times and loving with the little one.

Thanks very much MT & GT, or as we call them at the office - MT & the Boys and Gin & Tonic.

Love,
baby boy

fun times in Eastr Nashville

2010-03-27T17:22:00.002-05:00

Wifey is the best, we had a professional photo shoot today wit\h good friend Sarah B. Gilliam, and it was a blast. We went to the Pied Piper Creamery & Rumors East to take advantage of the cool scenery and ambiance. Sarah is great at keeping the energy levels up and she has a wonderful eye for those classy and unique pics. Many thanks to her and here Assistant Micheala (that's a girls name, not a typo). Samples to come later...

Happy Birthday!

2010-03-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Wifey has begun her final trip through her 20s today, and I'd like to say Happy Birthday. I love you very much and hope you enjoy the heck out of this weekend's activities with our daughter, friends, your in-laws, and me.

Wifey is amazing^ as a wife, mother and, in general as a person. She provides loving and strong care to our 1 year old and me, and is one of the people who can put up with me and reign me in (as needed) to where others can stand to be around me as well, and for that I am eternally grateful. I'm also appreciative for my sister who went to school in California and provided me the opportunity to meet and get to know Wifey (you can ask if you don't know, but chances are you already know the score).

There is not enough I could ever say here or to her in person that would make it clear how much I love Wifey, but I relish the chance to try several times throughout each year for the rest of my life.

And one more thing, Wifey is doing a half marathon soon, and though I do not care for the sport, I support her wholly and look forward to seeing her beat her best time so far in Jackson, TN. Go Babe!

^ = Thanks MTV for making this word completely meaning less by allowing every vidiot on your station use this to the detriment of society. Way to edit out extraneous crap from the show. Also, you couldn't provide them with a thesaurus to help with this problem. Oh that's right, most MTVians don't read.

One more day to go

2010-03-25T16:40:00.002-05:00

Until Friday, so let's get a move on. We've got people coming over tonight for Game Night and pizza (and drinks). Sat is a huge day with my 'rents in town to help with a Maevy shoot with Sarah B. Gilliam. And Sun, Wifey is running in the a.m. and we've got a birthday party in the afternoon. Not mention, Amazing Race is on that night.

And basketball is on all weekend, starting tonight - something MT & I have shared since I was a kid. It's gonna be a good weekend.

Clean Up, Clean Up Everybody Do Your Share

2010-03-24T23:02:00.002-05:00

You read the title and now you've got the Clean Up song in your head. Well, I got the Phil Hendrie Show stuck in my head. This guy is brilliant! He does interviews with fictional characters live, doing both voices. And then he take phone calls from irate listeners. In both voices, cutting the other off and arguing with the caller and the Host, himself. Brilliant stuff. Really out of this world smart and unique and funny and BRILLIANT.

I told Co-worker about this guy when I stumbled onto his old podcasts on iTunes, and he didn't get it. And then he heard me listening and laughing at the office, and when I explained it to him again, he got it. He is going to be listening and laughing soon.

Here's a video of him in all his glory.

Listen and fall in love would 'ya.

so I may have relapsed a bit

2010-03-23T09:08:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure which is worse, not posting something or posting something a li'l negative. No matter, we're back in the saddle again. I got some good stuff to talk about today....

Just give me one minute.....

Wait just a sec.....

Ooooh... no....

I guess this is pretty cool - Maevy in some Nationals Gear. Go Nats!

not sure what to do about this...

2010-03-22T16:12:00.002-05:00

It's been a pretty rough day at the office. Too much work to do, interrupted by too much driving around town combined with not enough cool stuff on the 'net. But I did find this. Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day. That will work out great for me. I can leave work and go stand in line over an hour for a free cone of overrated ice cream, of which they serve "kiddie" portion. Sweet. I love wasting time for a small amount of something I don't really want. Where do I sign up? There probably is something you have to sign to get this, maybe a Health Care Reform petition (Oh, I'm aware of what over the weekend, but if the Dems. are smart, they should start preparing the paperwork for a lawsuit now, as there's no chance the other side will go down with a legal fight - way to help rid the country of frivolous lawsuits and smaller government). Anyways...

Let's all go get some free stuff tomorrow.

2010-03-21T19:50:00.002-05:00

Have you guys heard of this woman Teresa Strasser? She's pretty funny. She used to be the co-host with Adam Corolla on his radio show. I liked that show. It was one of those that are put on the internet in podcast form, with none of those damn commercials. Now she does a blog about her new motherhood experiences as well as a podcast with Adam's wife about the same things. You can check her out here . I would recommend you do so. Go forth and be amused.

blah blah blah

2010-03-19T14:57:00.002-05:00

"Stop talking 'bout..."

This Ke$ha thing has gotten out of control, no? She was on American Idol performing some song that seems to be some sort of slut anthem. And she's not singing as much she's baby talking her way into a boy's pants. I guess the only thing positive to say about her is I'm glad she's not my kid.

2010-03-18T21:10:00.003-05:00

The Nationals are looking up, but have just 2 wins thus far in Spring Training. I love getting see 30+ mins. devoted to the prospects for the team this year. You can see the MLB Network's "30 Clubs in 30 Days - Washington Nationals" here.

Go Nats!

daddy and baby

2010-03-18T19:26:00.003-05:00

Maevy and I had a great evening tonight. We broke some of the normal routine, but we had a good time being close and loving. She wouldn't eat after Mommy left to go running, so I got her out of the high chair seat and she ending up eating the rest of dinner on my lap. Then we had a good bath time that ended with her starting the "Clean Up" once she was done being in the tub. That's not ever happened with me before. A good time for Daddy and his little girl.

Oh, and yes, my bracket is all messed up, too. Thanks for the early dismissal Georgetown & Vandy.

Look, I need you to help me and the Wifey, please.

2010-03-17T16:14:00.003-05:00

Just do me a solid, you're already here and all it takes is clicking on the link and voting for Amy. Be a friend, would you? It would make us both very happy to have Sarah follow us around like a paparazzo to document a Day In The Life of Maevy and her folks. C'mon, you can do it. Just click on the text and help a brother out.

Baby Monster

2010-03-16T16:57:00.002-05:00

I am really looking forward to hanging with the Baby Monster tonight. I hope she likes me more tonight than she did this morning.

Lazy Sunday

2010-03-14T18:11:00.002-05:00

You gotta love being able to go between College basketball championship games all day, hanging out with the kiddie and Wifey - including getting out of the house a couple of times, and then switching on the TV from Gangs of New York to Judge Judy.

Love a good Sunday.

Fridays are for those with no family in town

2010-03-13T21:35:00.000-06:00

I didn't make time on Friday because Wifey & I saw a movie last night. That was fun. I had to pull a tooth, but it was worth it for us to get out and have a free night at the movies. Thanks in-laws.

So this morning we had a swim lesson with the Maev. She's a bit of a dare devil at this point in her young life. She has looks to wiggle out away from whomever has her when she gets in the pool, and she has no problem with jumping into the water from the edge of the pool. Sure hope she curbs that type of activity when she gets older.

SNL & Betty White = match made in Facebook

2010-03-11T15:25:00.004-06:00

I love Saturday Night Live, always have since I could stay up at watch. Back in late '76, when the show & I were both just getting started I can remember seeing each episode with the original cast in all of those seminal sketches that helped to make the show a hit in its infancy. I always really liked the Andy Kauffman stuff - especially he's opening night bit of "Mighty Mouse Theme". Anyways - now word comes out today that the facebook page "Betty White to Host SNL (please!)" has won the battle, and she'll be hosting May 8th.
Good for her. I like her, too. She's funny and I look forward to seeing the show. Did SNL cave to pressure because the season has been a stinker so far? Are they self-aware enough to know that this is good idea with its own momentum already rolling? I don't care. I just want to see SNL do well.

I got LOST in your eyes

2010-03-10T15:22:00.003-06:00

Two of my co-workers spend about an hour each Wed discussing the happenings of the previous evenings LOST episode. I could not care less. I don't really mind that they are right next to my desk when they hold these recap sessions, but it isn't something I would ask for in a good working environment. Nonetheless, what I like about today is that I don't have the LOST bug. It just is not anything I'm even remotely interested in; it seems to suck.

Thanks be to the Lord.

Roof Buster

2010-03-09T16:36:00.004-06:00

It has recently been brought to my attention that the show Mythbusters has a sidekick worth researching. I give you Kari Byron. You're welcome.

Also, Wifey and I met with a roof guy yesterday at the house. He lives in our area and seems to specialize in the same side of town, and I'd like to use him when we get a new roof installed. Go Jake - you nice man.

I was out on vacation in the middle of Lent, what was I thinking?

2010-03-08T17:45:00.000-06:00

I was off-line all weekend celebrating the Squirt's first birthday, and spending time with families from out of town, and trying to not be distracted by these technological times. We had a good time with the Butterfly themed event, and Wifey did a wonderful job entertaining two sets of grandparents and aunts.

We had the One Year checkup today with the doctor, and except during the three shots she had to have, the little one is doing really well. No major concerns, and she seems to be as healthy as a horse.

If I had written on Sat & Sun here's what I may have written:

Sat -
Love the Wife. She makes it so easy for me to just do little things to help and not have to worry about the overall stuff. Very nice.

Maevy is a pretty cute daughter. We will keep her.

Sun -
Pretty active day that ends with falling asleep on the couch. All kinds of things went well this weekend, and for a family with no money, we are pretty rich. - Ugghh Sorry for the sappiness. It was a great weekend, but no need to be all mushy.
Let me say this - my fellow Ultimate players better beware; I'm coming to play for real this season - that is I'm going to be putting out a little more effort than previous.

is this the 2nd or 3rd Friday of lent?

2010-03-05T10:04:00.003-06:00

It's now time for us to take a day off from eating meat. There are some Catholics that skip meat on Fridays all throughout the year - during ordinary times. Wifey & I are not like that. So we will skip meat today and eat a little less than we normally would. And tomorrow, we'll use ratchet-up the energy to get going for a big day of fun at the Taylor's East. Maevy's birthday party will be Saturday afternoon, and we're expecting a small and fun gathering for the event.

Wifey has a "top secret" theme going for the party and has done some nice work on decorations and menu already. I hope I can help by staying out of the way. By the way, I stumbled upon this website about eating meatless on Fridays. It's called meatlessfriday.com. Whatever. It will be very interesting to see how these types of things play out when other children are present. I'm not rushing any of our siblings to parenthood (by the way - how weird is to realize that our sisters are quickly approaching the same age Wifey and I were when we got hitched), but I imagine it to be a bit of kick in the pants to face the fact that we are the adults now, and we are hosting the get together et. al.

Then I think about how I really likebaseball, and it gets me through. Go NATS!

birthday girl

2010-03-04T10:37:00.003-06:00

Today's post can be found here.

no longer a Bachelor

2010-03-01T20:30:00.003-06:00

I did a piece of the arts & crafts type project Wifey is working on for this weekend's birthday party for the Little Pumpkin, and I was thinking it is probably the first of many nights I spend taking care of something for or with her. That is if I stick around for a while. I mean it will be...

Nonetheless, I had a good feeling being the man of the house - not something I'm used to doing.

Also, on a completely different note, how awesome is it that most of us do not have to go on TV in an attempt to "find a mate". Wifey is the one for me, and I don't think anyone like her could make it through the process of weeding out the sane and capable people to get to the wacky nutjobs that make it onto the screen.

make-up call

2010-02-28T21:23:00.003-06:00

Today I helped a buddy of mine do some insulation in his attic, which completely wiped me out. He's good at knowing how to do the home repair stuff, and I appreciate him letting me learn at his knee. Many things for working me over like a boxer, as I was bent over at the waist and doing a half a squat.

Chuck = VIP

2010-02-26T22:30:00.006-06:00

There was a show from '98 - '02 that was syndicated, starring Pamela Anderson called V.I.P about a group of attractive women that run a always-teetering-on-the brink-of-failure bodyguard firm. I know way more about this than I would like for two reasons: 1) I edited on "tags" for each episode promo ad while I worked at a local station in Memphis that aired the show, & 2) I tend to remember shows and actors; even the not-so-good ones & the shows I've never actually watched entire episodes of. So that leads me to the comparison of this show to the current NBC hour-long action dramedy "CHUCK". Both of these shows have leads that happen into the dangerous world of spies, and both have an attractive cast of women to help get the viewer through any rough plot spots. Both also play the espionage game for laughs.

The big difference I've noticed is that the leads are opposites sexes, there are few "hot girls" on Chuck, but the ones they do have are "Hotter", and the writers at "Chuck" seem to have some experience with moving a scene along. Oh, and Pamela Anderson. She's not in "Chuck". So, for my buck, I will take "Chuck" because in my book the hottest chicks win, and Pam Anderson just ain't where it's at.

Carly Simon names me as "So Vein"

2010-02-26T13:28:00.003-06:00

A League of Their Own. Great movie on Bravo right now. Worth the commercials, even.

Apples to Apples

2010-02-25T15:41:00.004-06:00

Wifey & I are taking the little stinker to a unknown friends house tonight to play some game(s). I'm looking forward to having fun, but sometimes meeting people in this environment can be weird. So my plan is to drink myself into oblivion and try to say the most controversial thing possible. Or maybe just be a normal, nice guy. This is why I'm not going to teach the Little One to "be herself."

tongue in cheek? tongue in something

2010-02-24T14:03:00.003-06:00

I think one of the best qualities I possess is also one of my worst. I have the aptitude to be able to forget bad things in a blink of an eye. Of course, that also means that I have little to no chance of remembering an important detail that would make my life that much easier.

So I can have a really bad day or moment, and in the time it takes me to turnaround and get going in a different direction, I will probably have forgotten what was so bad. (Hell, I forgot what I was writing three times during this sentence.) And today I had a bit of a stumble this morning, I think, but can't recall at all what it may have been. Niice.

And today I listened to a story about the Greek financial problems, and how there are protests, and a palpable tension in the large cities as daily life is gone about... and I think to myself, at least we're not in Greece.

Whatever... I'll forget soon enough and it'll be off to the something something

Rock and!

good clean family fun

2010-02-23T13:50:00.004-06:00

I tell you something fun from back when you were a kid, the ol' pretzel cigarette. How fun is that? Here's me with one today at lunch. Ain't I a Cutie Pie, and a Funny Guy?

And it's cousin, the rod pretzel cigar. This funny dude is "lighting" a rod cigar for a lady. We laughed so hard that night. Because you can't actually smoke a pretzel. I don't think. I never tried before. Good times.

Ooh, and the Pringles duck lips.
This guy is probably the funny guy at the office. And he has a sweet-ass necklace.

Good stuff. I'm glad I'm the only one to have ever thought of those things.

my niceness has a limit

2010-02-22T19:54:00.006-06:00

Per one of the dedicated few, I'd like to have you know in this second post of the day (Thank you, technicality) that I'm not feeling well all the time. I played some frisbee Sunday, and my left knee (surgically repaired a year ago) has been aching all day. "Mommy, I got an ouchie in my knee-ball."

Let's not forget some of the other pain I've been playing with:
- a constant neck malady (That's my neck... red = pain)

- a right arm I'm trying to rehab so I can be ready for the upcoming softball season (and I'm turning Japanese - AHH!)
- a full-bodied itch I think was brought on by all the cold weather
(I wish I had this many arms to scratch with)

- a TV DVR monopolized by the Wifey with shows I couldn't care less about (that's me on the arm of the chair, in a subservient manner)

- a finger nail that was broken while making dinner tonight
(look at me, I'm a badass. Like my helmet?)

AAAHHHHH!!!!! I'm in the throes of misery!! Somebody help me!!!
(I love 'em but, my team is not actually #1)

Happy Joe-bear?

podcast this!

2010-02-22T13:56:00.002-06:00

There are some good podcasts out there. I like stuff that's a little different. A new one to me is Freakonimcs Radio, based on the book of the same name, and the recent "Super" version. I enjoy these kinds of things where the breakdown a complex issue or go behind the scenes of something I'm already interested in, and this is right up my alley.

Freakonomics Radio is available on iTunes.

1st Sunday of Lent

2010-02-21T21:44:00.002-06:00

Today I'd like you to know that Wifey & I have friends that are really impressive. We got together and had a great time (read: drank to excess), and they were able to get up today, go outside, and take a picture with smiles on. I'm impressed. Nice work you two.

today is an easy one

2010-02-19T16:43:00.003-06:00

Wifey and I have a busy weekend planned, including the first swimming lesson for the tyke, her first haircut, dinner with friends, and picking up our second CSA delivery. So I'm pleased to have such fun stuff on the horizon and looking forward to hanging with the nearly one year old and Wifey. As the picture frame my parents gave us for Christmas reads, "Life is Good".

I hope you have a great weekend as well.

This is getting hard already

2010-02-18T16:55:00.003-06:00

I almost forgot my Lenten promise. Yikes. One day and I'm already dropping the ball.

Not to fear, though. I'm here and ready to be kind.

I'd like to get a shout-out to Co-Worker who I saw a movie with last night. We had a good time, and a couple of drinks at the movies. That's always a good time in my book, drinking at the movies. I do miss the Arlington Draft House near DC, where Wifey and I used to frequent. Especially a goofy movie and a big crowd and a couple of brews. Niice.

Also, it's busy at work this week, and that means less time for me to be negative about the little things. It provides me a little perspective and a reason to keep my head down and just plow through the work.

I think that's good for now. Tune in tomorrow and see if I do....

I made a promise

2010-02-17T23:00:00.002-06:00

Lent is upon us, and I've made a promise. I have sworn to blog every day during Lent, and to be nothing but positive. That will be difficult what with a blog entitled "What's Ailing the Ry-ry?", but I'm going to make it happen.

I have a couple of things to be positive about for today. I would be wise to hold off on a couple of these, but I've never been to good at not blowing my wad too early.

Last night, Wifey and I went to a concert and despite all my preconceived notions, I had a good time. It was one of hose situations where the spouse has high expectations, and when you've gone home for the night, you enjoyed the evening more than they did. Sorry for you, Wifey, but positive for us as a whole.

Tonight, Co-worker & I (again - we're not gay) saw Valentine's Day together (for free.... wait that doesn't prove we're not gay, does it?), and it was as good a free romantic comedy as you'll see, without being British (read: Love Actually).

So there you go, two big ones on day one. Let's see the magic keep happening. I have some left over pains from before Lent, but nothing a little TLC can't take care of.

Alex Rodriguez is a putz

2009-10-30T16:30:00.003-05:00

I am having some serious abs pain, as I finally got going in a new workout routine, and my legs and arms are now feeling the same kind of burn. But I'm not doing nearly as bad as the steroid-taking, Kate Hudson-dating, striking-out-swinging Alex Rodriguez.
A-Fraud is 0 for 8 with 6 strikeouts in the World Series (admittedly after a good Division & Championship couple of series). That STINKS! And he stinks. Wifey asked who I wanted to win on the day of the first World Series game and I told her I'd like the Phillies to win. I do like Jeter, and hope he wins the MVP this year for the first time, but the Phillies are in the NL East with my Nationals and that says something. What it says is that we lost a great deal of games (15 out of 18) to the best team in baseball throughout the regular season. Then Wifey asked about wanting Jeter to get another win, which I'm totally into,
but with this caveat - Gay-Rod goes 0 for 20 with strikeouts galore - that would be Clah-sic. And right now both of those desires are a possibility, so I'm doing pretty well. Go Yanks. Go Phils. Whatever, just Go Away A-Roid.

Happy Halloween everybody.

PS -
A favorite quote for birthdays (from The Man Who Knew Too Little with Bill Murray):

"It's my birthday and I thought you might forget, so I came over to get my presents."

My man, Mr. Tony

2009-10-06T13:52:00.007-05:00

It's raining here in Nashville (or Mustacheland as the hipsters seem to want to make it), and my knee got tweaked making a turn around the a corner, and there is a stank coming from my rear end that actually caused an old woman to faint behind me. I'm sorry about that, Bernice.

But none of that can cause me to be feeling unwell - not even you, Bernice - "because I got my man, who could ask for anything more?"

Mr. Tony Kornheiser
always classy, always kvething. Epic!

... these are a few of my favorite things....

2009-10-02T09:17:00.002-05:00

I wrenched my back last night, I'm assuming during the Ultimate Frisbee game. I would like to not have that going on today. Also, the repaired knee is hurting a good bit as well. And I'm not going to have a burrito for lunch, so it;s not looking good for the ole Ry-ry.

Waaaaahhhhh

lipped out

2009-09-30T11:20:00.004-05:00

The Ulitmate Frisbee games have been happening on Thurs nights and Sun morning recently. And last Sun I played with just 4 other people, and had been out until 4 in the AM on Sat night. So as the game got started, I could feel I was dragging a bit - the mind was willing, the body was not - and I recalled a baseball game as a kid I had to sit out after getting hit in the nose with a baseball during the warm-up. As the game went on, I thought about the baseball incident a little more and more, and made extra pains to pick my feet up when running so as not to fall down, and make sure I left enough room between my opponents so as not to hurt anyone else. And then at about three-fourths of the way through the game I was all by myself chasing after a floating disc that was coming back towards me at a dangerous angle. I raised my hands (yes both of them), and I was dismayed to see the disc get to my hands, go right on past them and smack me on the mouth. Damn it. What the hell is wrong with me? So all that to say this: my lip hurts. Not the whole thing, just the top lip. Just the right side, too. Just the upper right portion of the lip from the 3rd tooth over to about the 5th tooth on the upper portion of the mouth hurts. I see now why Wifey had me start this blog.

classic

2009-09-29T07:31:00.006-05:00

So I went to a Neurologist yesterday to have the colors and slight headaches checked out. Turns out this quack thinks it's Classic Migraines. Says it's text book symptoms. Can you believe this guy? We all know it's really a brain tumor. He's just trying to take the easy way out so he doesn't have to deal with me any longer. What a jerk. So now I have to walk around with an occasional, mild discomfort
and this guy gets the satisfaction of knowing he can let me go off into the sunset and not have to worry about me ever again. Must be nice. Some doctor this guy is, huh?

I've been thinking... and that's the problem

2009-09-18T23:17:00.008-05:00

(new best friend, under my protest)

I don't see my Buddy enough. He was my Best Man at my wedding (yes, to Wifey), and the guy I knew would serve such a role since I met him back in 1994. He's a great guy. And was the absolute best Best Man I've ever seen - he's great at giving speeches (especially to a large crowd - like a wedding), commanding at giving away a friend's money (to the Priest for the ceremony), a spectacularly calming force in a nerve-racking situation like a wedding day (whereas another of my friends suggested that if I wanted to run, he had a car running and waiting to go far, far away - Thanks, Joe), and he is decisively the best host of a Bachelor Party EVAH! So, I just wanted to have it noted that I love my Best Man, and hope is enjoying this evening, another in the long line of Sept. "Jimmy Shaker Days" - sweet, sweet Jimmy Shaker....

And another thing... and this actually belongs in the "Ailing" blog....

Why can't we live in Australia? Or New Zealand, or even Italy or one of those European countries that are considered "not so crazy"? I don't want to become citizen of another country, or anything, but I want Cutie 2 to be better off than me, and the only thing that could have been better than my childhood would have been to be raised with an understanding of the world. I had a good time getting to travel around America when I was a kid, and then a little more when I got older, and if Wifey hesitate Cutie 2 may be stuck without that experience and all because I didn't stay in school. Meanwhile, if we move now we could give her that opportunity, but if not we may be damning her to a closed campus because of her parents doing, and I don't want to do that to her. At least not yet. She can't speak and when she mutters aloud it's too adorable to think anything other than cute dreams of her so far. And with all that hair, it's as if she's old enough to know better, but smart enough not to talk.

So to sum up, it goes:
- Vote for Nate
and
- I feel inadequate about my being able to provide a full living experience to Maevy.

Sweet. Let's get wasted.

2009-09-09T12:28:00.009-05:00

There's a lady who I spoke to earlier on the phone, but I have met in person before, and she did not give me the info I requested. And this southern thing that goes "Here's the info you asked for, not all of it, but enough that you'll hopefully go away. And I'm going to say it a really nice tone so you don't notice that I'm not near as helpful as I sound. Oh, and when we hang up I will complain about you and how pushy you were and how much info you wanted..."
Yeah, I'm about done with that crap. To me, the lady that pulls that with me may as well be this woman:

I'm no northern guy (read: aggressive and forceful), on the contrary, I have always relied on the kindness of strangers, and I've always found that being unassuming and relaxed makes it a whole lot easier for people to want to help you. But when I hear that lilting voice talking beyond me in the hopes of me going somewhere else, it angers my blood. Now, there's a hitch in my argument against this type of conversation: I like hot chicks. I've always said that "A vote for me is a Vote for Hot Chicks" and when I see an attractive women I tend to give her a little (a lot) more leeway, even with the condescending tone. I

(old school hotties)

gotta be quick

2009-09-08T12:45:00.003-05:00

I have to be really quick about this because I'm at work, and being so busy lately has placed time constraints on me that prelude me from being able to post as often as usual. Sorry, dudes.

So today in particular, I'm experiencing a bit of pain under my left knee (this may or may not be related to the torn ACL, the surgery to repair that tear or the subsequent rehab), and a weird pain in the right upper quad area. And a lower back thing that seems to be a persistent nagging ailment that will not cede. And another continuing ache is in the left wrist.

I don't know much about biology... but I do know that I love you. And thank for being a reader. Biatch.

Oh, yeah, but all of this pales in comparison to the great relief that is MR. TONY being back on the radio this morning!!! SWEET.

sorry dude

2009-08-20T13:54:00.010-05:00

I've been having a pretty painless week or so, and I have to apologize for the lack in posts. I did a run/walk this week and had little to no problems with the knee. In fact the only thing even remotely bothersome was whether or not we would be able to play Ultimate Frisbee last Thurs., after which I'd invited the group over for a little fellowship. Wifey thought a very few people would be showing, but she was wrong. We had upwards of 12 there, and a good time was had by all until I pretty much killed the vibe at the end of the night with the phrase "... Your mom's pubes in my mouth." Not my finest moment, but a good excuse to let everyone go at about 1030pm on a school night.

And then last night I had a real problem. A real ailment, one like the ones that have been missing for a little while now. This was one of those very serious issues that, frankly, I'm surprised I even have time now to discuss. Those m-fers at XM Radio, which I normally love and sing the praises of, dealing with those sonsabitches are like riding into Mt Juliet for a friendly anal pounding. (look at this bunch of losers, apparently this is the entire group of smart people in the city, and they're all stupid looking)

Back to XM... I called in because I'm currently getting a weak signal when walking around with my portable device, and the people I spoke to were able to nothing to help. I don't want to get into racial slurs, but I did not enjoy the answers nor the tone that was taken with me. I may not have been nice by the time I got off the phone with them.

The only thing they could do was tell me that my radio was broken. My radio is (probably) not broken. How dare they suggest such a repulsive thought?!? My own XM! Where I record and listen to my favorite (current) radio show, as well as baseball and football games, and the random podcasts I'm able to download to the radio (what a great feature that is). You shut your mouth!

Yeah... so I'm doing pretty well right now, and I hope you'll accept my apology for the lapse in time between posts. SORRY DUDE!

Do you smell fish?

2009-08-13T10:11:00.004-05:00

I spent the second half of the day yesterday walking around and looking for a smell I was sure came from somewhere in the office, probably the kitchen. I smelled some kind of fishy odor as I sat down at my desk to eat my lunch, and couldn't focus on my cuisine so I went a snooping around to find the source of the smell. I could detect the aroma from my desk, but not so much as I circled the immediate area my desk resides in, and was left perplexed. I even went to the kitchen and inspected the fridge to see if it was being emitted from there. It was not. I was perplexed. And then as soon as I sat down again, the wafting of the fish smell smacked me in the face once more.

"Oh, boy. Does my ass stink and I've transferred the stank to the seat and now I can only smell when I enter the room, but it dissipates from my nose only to linger for others?" That was my first thought, and frankly a likely answer knowing my lack of bathing (I'm sorry, I know most people don't like to hear that - especially Wifey - but it seems to me to be a waste of water and I'm not really doing enough to work up a sweat that warrants a shower, although I probably take another look at this since it was my first scenario in this StinkGate).

Then I thought "Could it be something under my desk? Is Clyde messing with me and left some dead fish in the are of the desk I work at?" A thorough sweep of the vicinity proved clear and the questioning of Taylor left my satisfied that this was not the issue.

Then (and it's always in the last place you look isn't it?), I lifted my water bottle and as it neared my face the smell got stronger. Looking back I should have put 4 and 4 together and got 8, but I got 7 and thus what happened next to was deserved. I looked at the outside of my forearm and saw a splotch of yellow, and I wondered what that was. You may have simply wiped it off with a napkin, but I decided I was a geologist and needed to lick the blotch. I'm an idiot, I know. Guess what, it tasted like fish. Shocker! I spit it out on the floor, but the taste and thought of being an idiot still grosses me out. And I then found a similar spot on a piece of paper between where I placed the water bottle and where I sit. I resisted the urge to lick the paper as well.

Well that's where it came from, and that's why I won't lick my arm any more... This week.

Oh, and my right nut is killing me today. Why does that happen?

Here's a new one for you....

2009-08-11T15:49:00.004-05:00

So I post pics of the Cutie Pie II on one of those networking sites, and I keep getting people commenting on how she adorable she is. That's great, I love that she's a cutie patootie, but Hello, what about me?

What am I, chopped liver?

C'mon, it's not even close between us two. But people keep saying how cute Maevy is, even in pictures with me in them.

And she's underage. You guys should not be commenting on a baby, you should be letting me know that I'm looking good, and my smile is attractive. C'mon.

missing links

2009-08-06T10:03:00.004-05:00

I can't decide if I'm depressed and floating in a sea of distance, or happy and freely floating in a pool of "me time". My favorite radio host is not yet back on the air (Sept 8th, y'all!), the other guy I listen to religiously is off until Monday, and the co-worker with the bad facial hair is out until Tues.
If only I could the rest of my co-workers to stop asking me where he is or if I'll be OK. Smartasses.

hiccup boy

2009-08-05T11:52:00.002-05:00

I have the hiccups, and I'm hating the hiccups right now. And my anger is causing me to see spots. Or that tumor that's growing in my brain. And it's sweaty as hell in this back office. And co-worker is leaving for several days and stranding me here with what can only be deemed a small dragon flying around the office. What a motherhumper he is.

Flu-like symptoms

2009-08-03T13:48:00.004-05:00

I came up lame on Saturday night... more lame than usual. We had grandparents in town and that allowed us to enjoy an evening out. And what an evening we had planned. Wifey was cool enough to go along with the plans I'd made without her knowledge so we hit a little BBQ in the late afternoon, a movie and then over to the best Best Man Ever's house for a little shindig. And how does body thank me for this great chance at being imbibed with alcohol? He decides to go David Carradine on me. I get the flu. And not just any flu, but the Swine Flu. H1N1. Sonofabitch.
We made it to the movie (after a couple of fantastic Yazoo beers at the BBQ ), but I had to bolt out of there as soon as it was over because I was getting the chills (probably running a fever), and shivering in the cold ass theater. So when we got to Nate's place, I had one drink and knew before I finished it I had to go home. That really sucks because we don't get to hang out that often, and this was one of those times Wifey was into it what with the Eppler clan being in attendance and getting to hear some good stories. I tried to hold out as lon as I could, but it wasn't as long as Iwould have liked.

Well, anyways, this morning I felt OK enough to go to work, but as the day drags on (and the OTC drugs wear off), I'm starting to feel the death rattle that is the Swine Flu. I'm getting chills and shivers. A headache is beginning to crack my cranium, like the teethe cutting through Cutie Pie 2's lower gums. And the achy joints and back are setting in as well.

Now, I'm going to take some more drugs, but I don't like to do it. Only because of the taste, though, not because I'm worried about my body becoming resistant to antibiotics, but instead because I don't like the taste. That's right, I'm a 30+ year old person still complaining about the taste of things that keep me going. I'm not a man. I'm a little cardboard box that folds under any pressure, whether real or percieved. Weak.
I am weak.
PS - I may have taken the "man" token out of context. I do not care.

ack! my back!

2009-07-30T14:13:00.005-05:00

I woke up Monday morning with an aching upper back and left shoulder and knew it would be a bad day. It was a pain all day, but the day was pretty good. The Nationals went on a hot streak and won 6 of 9, and I can't really remember any great struggles I've had to endure since then. Except the back and shoulder pain. It will not part company with me, and today I've gone to extreme measures - I started by applying some Icy Hot on the affected area this morning, and with that not working, I went and purchased some heating pads which I am now walking around the office with under my shirt, trying to pretend there's nothing goofy going on in there (you'll have to ask this guy how it's going). It's working pretty well right now - but it's only been about 30 mins. However, ol' Wifey will tell you that I should have been stretching the whole time and that would work out the kinks, and that is why I should stop telling her all together what's ailing me and stick to this blog.

So what am I saying here, duh!, I'm saying my shoulder and back still hurt for about the fourth day in a row, and I'm worried I won't perfom to my usual poor standards in the Ultimate Frisbee game tonight. That's what I'm syaing. But do not worry, my favorite reader/ego booster, it's my left shoulder, and thus I'll be able to tip the sweet nectar of Yazoo into my deserving face.
That's a right hand thing...

the left arm is used for something else all it's own. You know what it is...?

ail this, burrito man

2009-07-24T13:43:00.003-05:00

Not all things in my life are as woe some as the Nats losing again or what to call my daughter or having to deal with Mt Juliet, TN (the worst place in the world - including HELL). And to prove it, I'd like to tell you about a great experience in the world of lunch. It was Baja Burrito Day with the lovely Wifey and aside from the wonderful and tasty burritos and salsa, I also got to see my boy Troy (the owner) who was kind enough to help me find a parking spot. With no obvious openings he told me to "just park behind the building" Right here in the front row. How sweet is that? I love going to that place. We fax our order in and get great service with a smile and pleasant atmosphere. Baja Burrito is the BEST!

sdgfagdfhdfgdjdgjghfk

2009-07-24T09:08:00.001-05:00

headache. from drinking one too many last night. i love beer.

something old, something new, something borrowed and something glued

2009-07-22T14:17:00.003-05:00

Well, you may recall that I have a sole problem with my shoes - not my innards - and without asking her, I'm sure Wifey didn't think this would work, but I went ahead and tried super-gluing the fabric back down on the sole. It was a quick fix for a little problem. And it WORKED! I know, I'm just as surprised.

Cutie Pie, the second?

2009-07-22T11:09:00.006-05:00

I have a propensity to call myself Cutie Pie. I think it's somewhat humorous and breaks the ice when I speaking to someone (a lady) on the phone for the first time, and helps me with being remembered if needed. Sometimes the co-workers hear it and it makes them laugh. And then sometimes the Wifey is with me, and it makes her laugh. And then sometimes it just makes me feel good about myself... like boobs make me feel good
(side note, did you know that when I give blood, I get freaked out by the needle going in my arm, so I turn my head and think about boobs? True story).

So now I have a problem with the Cutie Pie nickname.

I accidentally started calling my 4 1/2 month daughter the same thing when we were playing the other day. Now I don't know what to do... do I keep calling her that? Do I switch quickly to another name so she doesn't get used to it? DO I just suck it up and let her share in the nickname and call her Cutie Pie II? Maybe I should not call myself that anymore, no matter what I call her. You tell me who's cutie-er:

I'm pretty cute.

tour de france is draining my hatred

2009-07-20T08:17:00.004-05:00

Man o Man, is my life a real bummer. I got this cute kid, the sole of my right shoe is loose and flailing around under my foot, I'm forced to wear shorts at work because it's too hot in the office to don pants, and the battery on my XM satellite radio drains too fast for my taste. What am I gonna do? How can I deal with such peril in my day?

I guess I'll have to kiss the kid,
put some super glue on the sole (and/or purchase new slip-ins), keep wearing shorts and enjoy the lovely weather we're having outside,

and have to keep the radio base close by and the DC plug-ins available at all times.

That's the way it is, bitches.

the XM battery is running low...

2009-07-12T10:46:00.005-05:00

I played Ultimate Frisbee yesterday and had a great time. There is a rotating group of about 20 guys and gals that get together and throw the ol' disc around (that's what we call the frisbee - a disc. It sounds cooler), and we have a pretty good time doing it. It's just exercise for most of us, but a couple of the guys are really good and able to fling it pretty well, but most of us are married, and several of us have kids. So none of us are going pro any time soon. That being said, I still manag to injure myself most times I've played - and this week was no different. Yesterday, I earned a nice little bruise on the thumb and some nice sharp pains in the left knee. You can see in these pictures that I have pretty nails, and a very sore knee:

So then I came home and the Wifey pulled an old fashioned bitchslap on me, when I tried to tell her what pains I had, she told me "Just blog about it and leave me alone."

Dagger!

where've you been?

2009-07-07T13:10:00.003-05:00

Wifey has taken to posting pretty regularly as of late, and it's been making me feel even worse than usual about not doing my required posting. My excuses are as lame as "We got busy at work again", "We've been busy at home", and "the Nats won a couple in a row, and all was right with Ry-ry"; but those are excuses, and like assh*les, everyone has a couple. I mean one. I have only one butt hole. Whew. That was a close one.
So... I've been up to a few things that helped keep me away from the keyboard. But now I'm ready to let you know about some of the ailing the Ry-ry's been up to: - Back when I fixed the leak under the kitchen sink, I ended up wrenching my hand a bit, and it's still sore. Sweet. - The knee has been paining me a bit the last couple of days. Nothing unusual but it does suck. - This isn't causing me a bunch of physical pain, but my hairstyle is really kinda weak. In the words of Taylor the Tattooed One, "it's the Worst." I'm going to have to either change it or forget about it. Wah... wah.... my hair isn't styled the way I'd like wah! - and finally (this time), I had a burrito yesterday from favorite place Baja Burrito - and I spent the better part of the day with a full stomach and some tasty heartburn. Although I did forget to pick up the salsa, we made it through the experience quite well. So that's a brief list of what's been ailing me... How about you. I'd be interested to find out what you guys are ailing from. Please feel free to post a comment. Everyone except, Taylor, of course. I already know what's ailing you... Bearded One.

my, my, my motivation (or lack thereof)

2009-07-01T14:18:00.007-05:00

So yesterday evening I got to work around the house. I mowed the lawn that had recently gone through a growth spurt (aided by our absence last weekend from Nashville),
including the weed-eating, then the rain barrel I've been putting off was finally assembled

and lastly I fixed a leak under the kitchen sink.
That's three times more than I usually do in a summer evening, and about three hundred times more than I usually get done during the average weekend. That means I have the gumption of a koala bear, which sleeps for 22 hours a day.

I don't mind that usually, but as I am now used to doing nothing each night, I have established a pattern, and that pattern is bad. So, when I do finally get off my keister, I feel like I should be doing that every day. All things considered, I suck. But I might get better... right?

How about the days when I'm supposed to watch Maevy while Wifey works out after work... what can I do on those days to feel productive? Tonight I'm going to try and remember to pick some herbs from the garden for the neighbor Mr. Woods, and make sure I've got the sink actually fixed (as Wifey was telling me it was not quite leak-free). And I'll keep an eye on the little one with one of those handy baby holders. Should I use this
or this: or this: ????

Wifey

2009-06-25T11:52:00.004-05:00

It's been four years since Wifey and I got married. That was a great day. Even more impressive was the fact that this goofball long-haired hippie wanna-be was able to get her to go out with him in the first place.

(please do not mention the stomach)

And now we've made it four times around the sun (which by the way is what ails me today - it's way too HOT). And with a four-month-old in tow,

we are heading down to Memphis for the weekend to see grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncle. I'm looking forward to leaving early and spending time with all them, but I've got to get through tonight first. Here's to a brilliant 4, and many more.
Love you, Wifey.

**** Wifey may have posted first, but I've been thinking about this anniversary waaaay longer.

hang in there

2009-06-24T16:08:00.003-05:00

I'd like to write something here, but I have little to complain about. But please keep checking in on me, I swear I'll be back soon. I may even have an ailment... or just some Nats news to bitterly complain about. Thanks, RT

Come to think of it, what the hell's going on in this picture? Are those monkeys having there way with that lady? I searched for an image of one of those stupid "Hang In There" posters with a monkey and this came up on page 2. Wha?
And what's up with this lady? Probably a photoshopp'd pic, but have you ever noticed what's doing on the google images? It's amazing what you can find on the internet, and it leads me to consider the fact that some people do not seem to realize that just because you have recorded an embarrasing thing on video or photo format, does not mean you have to post it on the internet for all the world to see. What's Ailing these people?

Gah!

Although, I must say that if you were to search for "ailing ryry" in google images, the pic of a knee I use as "my pic" is the first image that comes up. That's something, I guess.

Jon and Kate minus a future

2009-06-23T12:36:00.003-05:00

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I would like to have it noted I'm officially done watching and the Gosselin's and their divorce. I never liked this Kate person, and felt bad for Jon as Wifey had me sit through episode after episode of the revolting Jon & Bitch + 8, but now it's over and as of last night I switched teams, and now want him to burn in hell. They both can burn, really. The mantra of "I'm there for my kids." and "I'll do whatever it takes for my kids" rings untrue and like a line they have agreed on to get them through the messy divorce that is coming their way. They can both SUCK ON IT! The big announcement last night should have been "We're getting divorced, and the show is OVER." But instead they have decided to continue exploiting their ~~cash cows~~ kids. "Hey, look at all these dollar bills in me."

They suck and I could go on for a Southwest or Mt Juliet – type rant, but I won’t. Suffice to say I don’t like her. And now he’s “excited” about the new way his life is going.

Good for you.

And now I can let it all go. And I can do this because it’s over. The show may go on, but not with me. Finally; if I could only convince Wifey.

nothing's wrong

2009-06-19T12:47:00.005-05:00

I have a nice co-worker who graciously offered me some leftovers form a cookout he was at yesterday. Anyways, with a nod to the Flight of the Conchords' song Nothing Wrong, I'd like to report that there is nothing wrong in my life. Not when free, good food is involved. Wifey may be a little upset that I broke our usual Friday lunch date, but in the short term, it was worth it. Sorry Wifey. Check out this mean meat-filled feast I gorged myself on. It was very nice.

That's some hot wings and blue cheese, and a nice-sized burger with cheese. Yummy. If you can, I highly recommend making friends with co-workers, at least for the free food. Thanks. Taylor.

PS - this is the same guy that gave himself a paper-cut on the lip.

NATS WIN!!!

2009-06-18T09:30:00.005-05:00

You might think I'd be elated about the Nats winning in New York, but I've found a reason to be upset with the game. A couple of reasons, actually. Where to begin, how about with the lame duck manager, Manny Acta.

Probably a man who'll be losing his job next Mon, between the Toronto and Red Sox seriesesesesss. At least one hopes. And why do I want him gone? Becuase he does have the ability to leave a pitcher in the game past the 5th inning, but fails to do so unless he's in an American League ballpark. Weak. I realize the Nats starting pitchers aren't exactly cocksmen with the bats, but c'mon! you can't waste a really good outing by a nice young starter and give it to a bullpen that close a door, much less a tight game. And who comes in to hit for the pitcher who can't hit...?... A pinch hitter who can't hit. Probably one of our upmteen outfielders who isn't good enough to play on a regular basis, or Josh Willingham (who should be playing, but is kept out by the desire to have the fat load Dunn in left field because he can hit homeruns, not because he track and catch a simple fly ball slightly to his left) who is limited to the one at bat in this situation. Not cool, Acta, not cool.

And then there's the fact that they're playing in the AL during the season at all. I despise Interleague play like a kid hates bedtime. I hate it like men hate Kate Gosselin. It's the WORST. Bud Selig is the WORST. - Hey Bud, take your bad hair piece and go back to selling used cars.
Asshole.

I'm not going to start waving my trophy from the Stink Contest just yet.

And I have to someday explain this to my daughter...

today

2009-06-17T13:54:00.001-05:00

I went to Mt Juliet, how do you think I'm doing?

Baby is the reason for the blog

2009-06-15T10:05:00.005-05:00

Well, we Taylors (of the East) had a pretty good weekend. SO good that the Ol' Ry-ry had every reason to write about how great the Baby was when Wifey and I took her to the local Triple-A baseball game. She did so well, especially considering we took her out after her bedtime, to a crowd, with loud speaker noises and generally not being comfortable as she was nowhere near her bed. So she was great, when she did wake-up, she didn't cry or get fussy. She just opened her eyes and did a little cooing and looking around. And this was the second day in a row, after having been to the symphony in the park on Thurs. night. It was aces, and Wifey and I were able to enjoy the game and some good conversation with a buddy of ours. The kid was great, and made me very happy that my baseball fix was pacified.

That was Saturday, and then Sunday we had a problem with the kid. That is to say I had a problem, while Wifey laughed it up. It was the first of what I fondly refer to as the "first of many times" I'll be stubbing my toe on baby's toys.

So with that in mind, I will now only purchase her toys that are soft. That means you, too, grandparents. No more hard plastic in the house. No wooden blocks. No concrete blocks. No outdoor swings to install. Come to think of it, can we return this kid and get our money back? Never mind, she's cute enough to accept the little things.

meaty thighs

2009-06-12T09:46:00.004-05:00

Wifey wants me to lose weight, but I am not into that. Not because I think I look great, I'm hideous when naked (wanna see? c'mon, man...),

but I'm not a fan of working out or exerting effort that would induce a smaller waist or sweating any more than necessary during summer when I already carry around a "sweat towel" for when normal day-to-day operations get to be too much for me. And this morning I pulled a fat man's blunder; I ripped my pants while doing nothing more than just trying to pull them up a little on my wonderfully thick leg.

It's a real ego boost to start the day when ripping your pants is one of the first things you do. Lats time this happened, while visiting Wifey's sister in Minnesota, at least it was the last thing I did that day.

So now I'm gonna have to put myself threw a torture and lose some weight, because it's a little out of control.

pissy mood.... thanks Mt Juliet, TN

2009-06-11T09:49:00.007-05:00

I'm not doing well right now. I have the headache and "floaters" in my vision. It's fun. I like the driving-while-I'm-having-these-issues part of the day, especially. It's like not looking ahead and trying to drive straight.

This all came on after a visit to my most recent destination, the ugly and backwards Mt Juliet, where I was given a hard time by two (yes two!) government departments. I've never much cared for Mt Juliet Codes, they've been obstinate and doltish and a little bit corruptible in my two years of dealing with them, and today was not different. I walked in and wanted to register a sign, but of course they were no Codes administrators in the office, and thus was forced to leave a check and form behind, and if history tells me anything, I'll be lucky to receive something in the mail in the way of a receipt or form with Reg. # (both of which I would need to give to the client and for our records for when they come to our client saying that the sign is illegal - which they do from time to time). So now I get to start the email and calling campaign to get those items mailed to us, which is always a blast. The kind of blast a porn starlet takes. Not cool, dude. Not Cool.

Then I go down the street (I do like the name of the street, though - Hill St. - because it reminds me of the old Steven Bochco series Hill Street Blues, but the slack-jawed locals in the Codes dept. consistently rebuff my clever witticisms to the point I no longer try. "Hey...let's be careful out there!") to the building where I was to pick up a bid package where I ran into a new version of Mt Juliet poppycock. The guy sitting at the front desk told me, without asking what bid project I was there to obtain, shoots me down immediately saying "The lady who can do that just went to lunch, and she's the only that can give you the project."
Really? No one else can help me out? "Sorry, she's the only one, and she just left. Maybe she won't be a whole hour. You can go grab some food and come back in a little while."
Another guy walks in at this time, just as one of the Codes people happens to be eating her lunch in this office - don't get me started on that - and she "vouches" for me, saying that the bid project I'm there for is not something that has to be reviewed by the "Lunch Lady". OK, great. Now I can get this from the guy, except he says he wants to help the "Just walked in guy" real quick and then me. I'm a bit of a wuss, so I let him do it, thinking I'd have to sign off on something or show an ID or prove in some way I'm with a company that should be allowed to have this important document. So they finish their deal (about 3 mins or so) and then I step up. "Substitute Guy walks about 10 feet to a file, picks up a packet, brings it to me and swaps with me for a check. He says "Thanks, have a nice day." I look at him a little confused because I'm thinking that it should have been a bit more of a process to pick this thing up since you let some Johnny Come Lately jump right in front of me... Dick (I'm assuming his name is Richard). Mt Juliet government officials are a FAIL. Boo on them. I have yet to check, but I assume the City motto goes something like this:

"Mt Juliet, we rape people"

my stomach aches for thee, Nationals

2009-06-10T07:52:00.003-05:00

I love baseball. I have told my wife that baseball is my first love. I have slept on the couch because I would not back down form that statement. (that is not true - Wifey did not take any umbrage with my first love, she is not one to be disturbed by others). Anyways, I've loved baseball since I can remember. Growing up I had no one to influence me as to what team to root for, the Cardinals were close to Memphis, but there wasn't a player I particularly liked and wanted to see win. Even with Memphis Chicks being in town, a farm team for the Royals, I didn't go to enough games in person to warrant an allegiance to any of those guys (Bo Jackson had come and gone so fast I never got to see him). Mostly as a kid, I spent whatever time I might have been watching baseball, playing baseball instead. However, when I was about 12 the New York Mets (who had won the World Series 2 years earlier), led by the catcher Gary Carter, were on TV every day during the summer. I had just begun to play catcher at the time, and fell in love with how good a player he was. (Wifey and I would later go to see Carter inducted into the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown - and it was glorious.) So I chose the Mets as my team. I was with them, from afar, for 16 years or so.

I was in the tank for the Mets all the way until I moved to Washington, DC. Even then, I was a Met fan until the most wonderful thing happened - Montreal lost it's team and they moved to DC. They moved in 2005 down the street from where Wifey and I lived in our first apartment after we got married. We were 12 blocks from the stadium, and it was awesome. I immediately picked them to be new Fav. Team. It was great. I could go to a game after work (sometimes during work) and usually not have to pay - I would just stand outside and loudly, without shouting, "Looking for a miracle. Got a ticket? I need a ticket." eventually (every time) someone would walk over and hand over a free ticket. One time, on Opening Day in '06 I was able to get into the beer zone, and drink a couple of free brews. Thanks to that guy.

Well, now the Nats are in there 4th season in DC. I'm as big a fan as I ever have been - the first thing I ever purchased for the baby was a Nats dress and bib - but they are not yet the contenders we'd hoped they would be by now. I watched the Nats host the Reds last night (one of the few games versus the Braves or Reds not blacked out because people do not watch a team as bad as the Nats), and it was not as fun as it should be for a guy who has yet to see a game in person since last year about this time. I won't bore you with details of the game inning by inning, but suffice to say that the Nats lost. They are currently 15-41, that's 15 wins out of 56 tries. And it's not like they don't do some things well, they just seem to rarely do all aspects of the game well in one day. The starting pitching is decent enough to win more games (the relievers are horrible - and Manager Manny Acta should be fired for putting in relievers when pinch hitting is as good as letting the pitcher hit for himself), and they've generally scored enough to win as well, but the defense is dreadful and the relievers suck, and the outfield is more crowded with mediocre talent than a Wisconsin bar on Sat. night at closing time. Yikes.

Here's the deal. I will not quit on my team. I love the Nats. Ryan Zimmerman, Jesus Flores, all the young pitchers, I can't wait to see them win something and get to the post season. I plan on being there when the time comes. But, "DAMN! we are in a tight spot." to borrow a line from Oh Brother, Where Art Thou. And in the meantime, I'm giving myself heartburn and headaches staying up late to watch the two games in three months I'll be able to see, knowing I've got to get up in a little while to take care the baby. Wah, wah wah... I've got two things on my plate, I know.

Maybe a donut will help chill me out.

upper lip paper cut

2009-06-09T10:07:00.004-05:00

This one is not about me, but a co-worker. This guy was just stuffing some envelopes and, instead of using the sealer he usually has, he went ahead and licked the glue himself. He got a paper cut on his lip. Awesome. It's funny when friends get hurt. This is not him getting the paper cut, but was along the same lines as how it went down. This, too is not him, but he is going to need a bandage about this big on his now-fat upper lip.

This is not us...

needing a Sugar Rush

2009-06-08T11:14:00.004-05:00

I've been absent. Shocker! I missed you all (all three of you - Hi Mom.) I'm sorry, but don't say I didn't warn you that when the kid came along I'd be gone. So, that being said, it's good to be back.

I'll tell you that the knee is coming along nicely, I've been playing some Ultimate Frisbee and looking for a softball team to join with (it's been rough because it's mid-season and the teams I've approached are already full), and looking forward to playing with the baby in the pool sometime soon.

So today I'm in need of a sugar fix. Maybe something like a DONUT.

Ooh, that could do the trick. Even better would be a PEANUT BUTTER DONUT. Oh man, that would be awesome. Wonder where I could get something like that here in East Nashville? I did a google search, but to no avail. I guess I'll have to start a donut shop myself. Yeah, right, I'm gonna get off my lazy ass and do something like that. Maybe next time.

You, Reader, should know that I do still have aches and pains everyday some minor (a little knee pain, especially when it rains), some major (twisted my ankle once, but was so happy it didn't hurt the knee I didn't worry about it until two days later when it still hurt to move my foot around), and some in between (the continual losing ways of my favorite baseball team the Washington Nationals). It's been pretty ok since the birth of the Baby, though. At the end of the day, hanging out with her takes a lot of the sting of everyday life.

But that can't last forever.

Not ready to be a parent - or play nice

2009-02-20T10:57:00.003-06:00

This is something I'd thought I'd posted already... so please excuse the out-dated material... but the baby is not yet here, and thus mostly this is pertinent. Thanks, and Mozel Tov!

I'm pretty sure that what I just did will actually disqualify me from being a good parent - aren't we all happy that there's no way for idiots to actually be precluded from having kids. So I was at work and I sort of started daydreaming a little and as I was thinking about how much I like peanut butter or something (ooh - PBJ ### - that's Joe's license plate, I'll always remember that because it's two of my favorite things - peanut butter and Joe!), and I was snapped out of this by a little drop of water that rolled down my chin. "What! Am I DROOLING?" What the hell is wrong with me? I going to be responsible for cleaning up the drool on a new daughter, and yet I can't actually keep the saliva from from my own chin? Good luck America, here's what you've got coming: A young women who's parents were a volitle mix of stupid, impulsive father and overly organized (gorgeous) mother - great, that'll end up being a pretty girl ready to any dumb thing some peer group suggests, right after she plans it out. You're welcome.

So there's that - self doubt combined with a real lack of sleep due to the fact that for each of the last 3 nights because my adrenaline goes haywire once Amy gets ready for bed thinking that it's almost time to give birth, when really it's almost time for bed.

And then there' that fact (and this really is a FACT) - Adam Carolla has been fired from the radio station out in California because the damn execs at CBS radio think they can make more money with a Top 40 format (BOOO!). But if you love a good complaint (and you must if you're reading this), he'll have a podcast available starting Sun evening, here. To Adam, we say: "Mozzy, Mozzy. Good things."

way back machine

2009-02-16T12:53:00.005-06:00

I'm having a pretty good day so far, except for being tired. So I'd like to go back to a time when this blog didn't exist, a few months ago - while I was being lazy.

There was a time recently that I was concerned I had an aneurysm or some kind of brain cancer over the summer when I was getting headaches and seeing spots on a fairly consistent basis.
And not the good kind... the ones that sing about how much they love 7-Up.

So after a while, and with no fanfare (always my favorite part of anything I'm involved with), the whole thing just stopped.
So that was cool that it went the way of the Dodo bird, but I would have liked to have some sort of diagnosis done. An explanation is always nice, isn't it? I'm left with a longing for the knowledge, but a pleasure in not having the pain. You know? Wah Wah Wah

Zooey Deschanel - nothing wrong there

2009-02-12T09:41:00.003-06:00

In an effort to not be a complete Rotten Ryan, I'm posting a beautiful picture of a lovely young actress that Taylor, the Co-worker & I agree wholeheartedly on. Enjoy, and have a great weekend.

Here's hoping Baby Taylor makes her debut soon.

Not a pain

2009-02-11T14:01:00.002-06:00

I've got to tell you this. Here is one thing that is not ailing the Ry-ry at all - LUNCH today. I just ate a re-heated piece of chicken scalapini and some rigatoni with Italian sausage and crushed tomatoes. And they were AWESOME!!!!!! Please to enjoy for youself.

what's THAT doing THERE?

2009-02-11T12:21:00.004-06:00

I'm feeling knee pain. There I said it. Happy? I hope so.
Here's some more for you: My left knee has a constant dull pain, and a sharp, shooting pain when I try to flex the knee out straight. It sucks. Apparently it's the scar tissue (I'm gonna have to download that Red Hot Chili Peppers song again) that is in there and hampering the straightening of the leg, which is a bummer.

Another thing I'm feeling bad about is that the PT told me that all the work we're doing now is all focused on the muscles around the knee just to get ready to do the work of getting the knee actually back to a usable place. The kick in the crotch on that is that it will take about 5 months before this damned dirty, stinky, baby powder-covered brace is removed. Waaaaa! I'm in a brace. Waaaaa it's uncomfortable. Waaaaa I'm a big baby.

So that's where we stand at this time. I know we're all thinking that it would be nice to tune and see that something other than another boring post about my "Lisa Left-Leg" Bulls$!%, so how would you like a little recap of painful moments that happened between Sept of 08 and these recent posts:
(in no real order)
- sliced thumb with a chef's knife I'd just sharpened
- before the surgery, as I was leaving the house down the back stairs outside, during a recent overnight freeze, I slipped down the stairs after one step and was lucky enough to catch myself with the left hand on the way down (nice scrape there) and got the sweet left knee twist action too - that hurt for about 3 days, and is a good candidate as to where I may have torn the meniscus

More to come?????

other's opinions & - SHOCKER! - knee stuff

2009-02-10T14:14:00.006-06:00

I'm not having too bad of a day today, but I'm thinking the co-workers are getting a bit tired of the constant yammering on I've been doing the last couple of days. It seems this may have been something that was brought to my attention a time or two in the past,
but it didn't really hit me until this week. No real reason or A-HA event that would have hit me now and not before, but it did. SO I think what's Ailing the Ry-ry is that my id has taken a hit for not being able to control the talk button on the "Chief Runs Wild at Mouth" (sweet new nickname, right). I would like to go back a little to late yesterday, at the Physical Therapy session ol' Left Knee and I partook in. So we were chilling with the sadiast-turned therapist Kim and all was fine, until whe decided to have me lay on my stomach, with lefty of the Legs family dangling from the mid-shin off the table. With that in position, she placed a 2 pound weight on the ankle, and a heating pad on the calf. Like this, but with no machine:
So that was cool for the first couple of minutes, but after about 5 mins, I was starting to fight the hanging, and then after about 7 mins, I decided it was time to speak up and ask it was normal to feel as if the knee is going to snap in half. It was normal, but time to stop. Whew. So that sucked big balls, and now I have this residule pain from that and all the other rigamorole they put you through at one of those PT places. I'm not a fan, and forsee plenty of posts deriving out of those sessions.

Damn Dirty Brace!

2009-02-09T11:54:00.002-06:00

I have a pain in my ear from hearing this morning that the "Tatiana" character from American Idol has been sent through to the round of 34, which makes my want to stop watching immediately. Oh wait, I don't want to be watching past the time when they show the awesome bad people in the first round. Whatever. I think part of the problem is that I shouldn't be watching reality TV to begin with. Hopefully the impending birth of Baby Taylor will sufficiently reduce my TV time so I can can rid myself of this plague. Now I'm starting to get pissed at myself for needing a baby to pull my sorry ass away from a TV.

Now onto the real deal. You wanna know what's hurting me today? I'll tell you.
The KNEE, dummy!

What did you think it would be... a bunion or some kind of rash? Not today my friends. It's Knee Pain Day. Although I would like to go back in time, and bitch for a moment about crutches, they suck. I was only on the two of them for about a week and a half, and then on just one for about a week more, and then sparingly (usually at the end of the day when I was tired and dragging the left leg around) for another couple of days. I've got no official confirmation, but I'm confident that I got off those as soon as possible - and that was due to the fact that the f@$%^&* crutches were kind enough to rasp against my arms and torso and cause an irritation and redness. F- you Crutches. And now we have to keep the damn things in case one of goes down again because we paid $600 for the pleasure of using them (uncomfortably) for about 2 1/2 weeks.

I'm painin'... Suck IT!

return? please no!

2009-02-05T15:18:00.004-06:00

Don't get too excited. This is probably the last one, but I thought you deserved to have a little closure.

Here's what's ailing Ry-ry today
- the left knee is painin' now that the surgery to repair the ACL has taken place a couple of weeks ago, and the physical therapy is something that makes me go "Uuungh" and this face: - let's see what else.. OH! I've taken to waking up the last couple of days at about 1am, and thus tossing and turning while my stomach does the same, under the auspices of thinking that wifey is going to be birthing Baby Taylor (a future pain provider, I'm sure) some time in the middle of the night, in the middle of the week. It's been a mess and making a little less useful at work. I'm so tired. Sooo tired. Like Up-all-night-in-Las-Vegas-for-a-week tired. Yikes!

- One last thing that's ailing Ry-ry, that is a co-worker who has the same positive feelings as I about Zooey (seen below), who is a lovely actress / singer and was recently afianced to the lead singer od Death Cab for Cutie. The problem is that DCC is coming to town and I want to go take the lead singer dude out of the Zooey game, but the co-worker wants to go to see DCC perform. Weak! Co-wroker must be dealt with. Zooey!!

it's over

2008-09-18T08:11:00.007-05:00

I'm afraid it's all over, friends. I'm nearly a goner.

I was at the Codes dept this morning, picking up some permits - like I do - and bantering with the lovely ladies there - I like these ladies a lot because the laugh at a lot of my jokes, which happen in that Robin Williams-rapid fire-nonsensical way, and may not actually be funny... "but damn it, the energy's great" - when the topic turned to Wifey's recent proclamation to begin a foray into the composting craze. That combined with the fact that my 'rents will be visiting next weekend to help show us the way with planting a new garden. Enter the new fear of future - near certain - pain. Gardening. Apparently this activity requires hours of time spent hunched over weeding, planting, and stuff I don't know yet, and all these hours spent doing stuff I've yet to do will be causing me years of pain. And that sucks.
Screw you, tools of my slow death.

Well I'm not a fan of pain, much less a slow death (of my own), so I'd like to take this opportunity to back out of the strenuous undertaking. I say "No" to Wifey. "No" to labor-intensive crap. "Boo" to pain in the back, knees, neck, hands, and fingers. I mean, come on you guys... really? Do you want me to wake up in a couple of years with enough pain to keep me in bed the whole day and saying to myself "Wha Happan?"

I didn't think so.

throat still & a crink in the neck

2008-09-16T08:59:00.009-05:00

This throat thing will not leave me alone. I've been coughing intermittently for the last 3 days or so, and I'm not down with that. Look at this picture I took of myself in that act of coughing. Can you see the discomfort? You should be able to see it. It's in the puffy cheeks.
But do not worry about The Ry-ry, I was able to put on my makeup and flatten my long red hair for the night out in a red dress. See...

Looking good.

And one other thing, a co-worker of mine has complained about a headache all day long, to which I replied that I do as well. And I did at the time, and even thought to myself that I would note it here on the blog. By now I'm thinking it's passed and that I don't need to have it spelled out here. So in closing, I don't have a headache now, but I did earlier. And I reserve the right to bellyache about any future head aches I may experience. So you got that going for you.

.

throat (& you)

2008-09-15T11:26:00.008-05:00

I now have a real throat problem going on. Hey there, how are you? Sorry again for the delay. Suck on it. If you're that into what I have to write, then you just might be the next best thing to be Ailing The Ry-ry. You wouldn't like me when I'm ailing.

I just spoke to someone who says her throat has some kinda of problem where her tongue swells up and takes over the mouth, making it nearly impossible to breathe. I'm pretty sure I've got that. But do not forget there is always another pain around the corner. For example, last night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I theorize that I went to bed too early, and even though it was 1230 when I did jump into the sheets, it was too early. And then today I've just been a little tired. Can you believe it? I've been getting through the entire day without a full 7 hours of sleep! I'm a man. And those of you actually know what's up with me - Mom - will try to tell me "Oh wait until that baby gets here. Then you'll know what it's like to have no sleep" Well let me tell you a little something about the ol' Ry-ry's sleeping pattern. I fall asleep and I'm dead to the world. Getting there can be an issue sometimes, but once I'm in the zone, a nuclear bomb could go off next to me, and I would pretty much unawares - I might do that funny thing where I sort of shrug a little and maybe scratching my nose a little bit. Out like a light. Gone like a gazelle. Sleeping like a slupee machine that's broken again because those damned kids keep trying to stick their heads under the spigot.

So I'm not worried about the little stinker cooming around and keeping my up. I'm terriefied.

head, shoulders, knees & toes

2008-09-03T11:27:00.004-05:00

So, the song goes "Head, shoulders, knees & toes (knees & toes!)" And I've totally got pains in each of those today (hence the reason I thought of the song). A small headache (those are coming more frequently and I'm getting a li'l worried as to why); a slight shoulder pain associated with the awesome workout I did yesterday on the arms, and probably nothing to do with the fact that I'm getting older and whinier; normal knee pain today - kind of what happens when it's about to rain, but not as pronounced and painful as that. It's a nice dull, achy pain. Really a nice touch if you think about it.

UPDATE: before actually posting this, I turned my head rather leisurely to the left and BAM! an unwelcome sound of popping and a feeling of distinct displeasure. Please add "neck" to the list of head, shoulders, knees and toes. Thanks. Thanks a lot, asshat (that's me - I'm an asshat).

Then I took several pills in an effort to alleviate these ailments and the heartburn and anxiety I'm feeling as well, and now I've got some kind of stupid chills and shakes going. Why me, Lord?

well well well... look what we have here

2008-08-27T09:45:00.010-05:00

You’re gonna love this… I’ve got a bit a phlegm thing going on in the ol’ throat. And a headache. Oh, and I've got a big load of guilt for not having been here recently. I've been faithfully reading the same blogs I read, but I have not been writing because of the hectic schedule I've been under as of late.

Not a sermon, just an excuse.

ears are ringing - reminances from the damned hold music?

2008-08-04T14:11:00.005-05:00

You'll remember that I was on hold a lot last week (I've tried to forget exactly how long, but it must have been at least three of the five days during the work week), and I must be having residual effects because I've had a ringing in my ear for the last two days. And no, Joe, Wifey has not been yelling at me to make more money or clean the house or mow the lawn or "get me some ice cream & pickles!".

I'm thinking it has come about due to the horrible hold music and the guy popping in saying that he couldn't wait for me to get aurally raped by the next available raper. Yeah, it had to be that. What else could it be? It's not like I spend most of the day with a set of headphones in my ears, even in the shower apparently, like the guy to the left. Why would you think I do that? That would not be helpful, but thankfully that's not happening to my beautiful baby ears. Here's a pic of what didn't happen when I was kid, but I wish would have.

In conclusion, I have a ringing in my ears and I blame the warranty company for raping me there. It happens, don't let it happen to you. Look at that concha opening, it's just ripe for rape.

ears are in pain

2008-07-28T15:20:00.003-05:00

The air conditioning is out again upstairs. Thankfully we have two units and can avoid the upstairs with only a little convenience lost. That being said, it's not the worst part of my poor, hell of an existence right now, that honor would belong to me ears. See when you buy a home as old as ours, you get the seller to pay for a home warranty service to take care of any of those "unexpected" problems, like a water heater going bad a month into buying the house. Or say, when the sir conditioning goes out, or a second time, or again and again. So now we're on the fifth lapse in AC upstairs and each time we call it into the warranty company (that could plant a smacker on my keister for all I care), it means a minimum of 3 minutes getting to the "Next Available Representative" (NAR) & another 12 minutes waiting to get to the 2nd NAR - and let there be no misunderstanding that they really do look forward to helping you, just as soon as they finish screwing and getting yelled at by the person ahead of you, which is there version of "assisting other customers". Look, I don't have to tell you that getting a call center sucks, but my beautiful ears are beginning to bleed from the crappy syntho-music that pierces my skull with it's sappy "easy listening" sounds. That brings me to two questions:
1) Has nobody else every noted that Easy listening is so hard to listen to?

2) I'm sure someone else must have said this before as well, but the other day my Best Man used the term "Bromance" which I had yet to hear. Have you heard of the movie style called bromance? I love it. Classic examples - anything with Will Ferrell, Knocked Up, Superbad, & 40 Year Old Virgin.

Beatles-like here's two unfinished and performed as one

2008-07-23T13:20:00.005-05:00

I can't believe you F-ers! What the hell is with the winning answers for the "Most Likely to Take Down the Ry-ry? poll, and I have to ask what the hell the big idea is?!? Really? You think it's going to be Wifey - big shocker, so do I (I have and will continue to give her plenty of reasons). But the real problem I have is with you. The person who didn't answer the poll after taking a look and seeing how it easy it is to participate.

Sydney, Australia that is! I see throught he wonderful google analytics that I've had one person there check out the blog. Sweet. Here's to ya, whoever you are. Here's a couple of pics of girls I hope it to be: ... yeah for fun, hot chicks met on vacation!

But on to what's really bothering me today. Douchebags. Like this guy who has a tattoo in a foreign language from his own, and thus misspells the word "Get" to be "Jet", so he ends up with a permanat scar instead of a tattoo, one that reads "Jet Rich Or Die Trying"

stomach stuff

2008-07-21T16:12:00.006-05:00

I'd like you to know that Wifey has returned, and all is well on the home front. And while I may be happy at home, I'm not healthy in body & spirit. And here's what I'm talking about:

Stomach stuff. Not happy at all to admit this, but I've had some stomach crap going on all weekend. I can't verify that it was the milk that at least 4 days past due, but I'm sure it didn't help. Much like Ron Burgundy in Anchorman, I'm thinking "Mlik was a poor choice." So I've been taking some of those great little pills that make those kinds of problems go away. Please note that I've purchased the largest box available... you know, because they're so great.

I'd like to also have it noted that the lower part of the back is causing discomfort as well. Again, you'll know what I mean when I tell you it's the Daytona License Plate spot.

It hurts so bad, I have to go dig a hole in the backyard.

missing my better half

2008-07-17T10:11:00.003-05:00

So Wifey's out of town this week with her new job, which means The Ry-ry is left to fend for himself both for food and fun. And while I've been able to do a couple of things I wouldn't normally do (seeing The Dark Night with Best Man last night), the ol' Ry-ry does miss having that stabilizing figure he's grown quite accustomed to. But, let's move this thing along... it's not fun to be without the great Wifey, but it's not exactly what I'm here to write about. The reason we're here now is to verify that a lack of sleep does actually effect (or affect - I can never remember which is which, and now is not the time to try to figure that out) your performance of daily activities. Yeah, the Ry-ry is tired because of three late nights in a row & getting up too early.

Lost my train of thought, so... whatever. Baby, come home.

not much can wrong in good ol' DC

2008-07-15T09:40:00.005-05:00

Well, we are back from DC and aside form the general malaise that comes from traveling on the horrible "airline" that is Southwest - By the way (and this is going to be a tangent, so skip to the next paragraph if you begin to not care), there's a reason that Southwest was chosen for this kind of TV show, and that reason is that when you're making a TV show, even a reality show, you have to have DRAMA - and Southwest has drama on each and every flight that do of each and every day. DO you know why SouthCRAP has drama? I do... it's because every flight has pissed off people. Both on the flight & those who don't make it. Sure they make the A&&hole drunk guy look like the bad guy, but little do they tell the viewer about how the "professionals" at SouthWorst do little if anything to actually aid people in their travels. What would be considered "standard" by other airlines - such as "being nice to a passenger" or "aiding the customer in getting to a destination" - is a full on teeth-pulling task to these jerkballs. I'd rather go parachuting again than deal with these "people" that are employed by Southwestsonsabitches.)

However, once we left the clutches of the idiots and their cohorts of SouthCan'tFly, we had a great time on the ground. DC was probably the best place I've lived so far, and the hosts we had while there this time were absolutely great to Wifey & I. Dr. Blondie, Funky Mama, and "unnamed hubbies", many thanks to you for your generosity and lovely spirit you provided us while in town. - And to all those who know "Wifey", please know that I am fully aware that I am nothing without Wifey; that she is the kind of "Saving Grace" that a poor shlub like me needs to put them on the "correct track"; and many thanks for being so nice to her that your are nice to me. You are truly appreciated. Mazel Tov.

Don't get me wrong, owning a home in the East Nasty is good, but living in DC was pretty awesome. Even for a guy who couldn't care less about the government bodies - at least until they piss me off, that would bring something on to the ailing Ry-ry. So we saw some great people the whole time we visited, and I enjoyed seeing all the old pals, but there was something missing, because, let's be honest, there always is, and this time I think it was the mere fact that we would never be back for good to this fine city that saved me from being completely happy with our trip.

That's not to say that The Ry-ry was at any time during the trip unwell. He was not. In fact, lots of wonderful things passed while we were in DC - the Nats game on Fri night (which was one 10-0 including three home runs), where Wifey got to eat the rupugnant chili fries (which were reported to have tasted wonderful) Here's a pic: Skip through the next couple of days that were mostly wedding related, and we were back in the new Nats Park taking a tour that included a visit to the clubhouse and the bullpen where they allowed the "youngsters" to throw a ball or two in the same place where the heroes of our youth warm up (see pic of me below, please. I'm the guy with one leg way out in a manner certainly not befitting a pitcher). And from there the it was time to reload ourselves onto the worst flying experience possible, which contained a stoopid & loud 4-6 year old kid named Preston (not a pseudonym) who was driving his grandmother crazy (not to mention all the other passengers), and thus made me the happiest person in the world to not be on the next flight out.

Look, I know what you're thinking: "Not so bad, I'd love to have the same perks as The Ry-ry"... but it's not that easy. They're are all kinds of annoyances The Ry-ry leaves so as not to bore the reader. But really, it is pretty good.

Also, as a bit of non-coherence rambling, do note that Ry-ry (not always "The") is about to grow up even more, and thus more complaining is to come soon. So suck on that, (gentle) readers"

Rambling Traveling Man

2008-07-10T10:25:00.005-05:00

Well, the ol' Wifey and I are heading out to DC this weekend, and with airline rides comes a little something that keeps getting worse each time I fly. That little something is anxiety. I used to love flying when I was younger, and I still like the idea even after being trapped in a plane for about 11 hours a couple of times, but nowadays it's a real chore because of the way they run you through - neigh, shuffle you through - at the airport. The lines everywhere once you get to the airport are so ridiculous that it makes you feel like being a part of a cattle herd would be an honor. So the lines are bad, but that's not the worst part in my opinion. To me, the worst is having to fly the worst of airlines because my Wifey is a thrifty lady (code for cheap ass). Don't get me wrong, I'm no millionaire, but I'd rather not go anywhere than go on the cheap like we do. There are other airlines that cater to those who don't want to save the couple of coins and so you don't have to sit next to the white trash guy with no sleeves and a mullet making his way to Disney World, aren't there? I'd like flying with them if they still used these uniforms, though:

knees & hangnail?

2008-07-09T10:22:00.006-05:00

Today it is raining and thus the knees are aching. But the real problem is that I managed to bruise the same knee that has a torn ACL, but just under that knee. I did this somehow while riding my bike yesterday afternoon. Now, I was looking down and noticing that the front tire was pretty low in air, which from what I've been told is not a great idea if you'd like to stay upright and tight on the bicycle. And while I was looking down, I lost my balance for just a moment and began to fall, but I successfully regained my stability, but to the chagrin of my baby knee. Damn! So now, just about ever step is accompanied by a sharp pain shooting from the bottom of the knee, or my accurately the top of the tibia. The ol interweb tells me that this is probably a form of shin splints, which means I'll have to "lay off" the legs for a while, thus leading to atrophy and eventually death, caused by slothiness. Once again, I've found a real pain and a really good way to die from it. What's next? A hangnail?

back & bullet holes

2008-07-07T16:59:00.006-05:00

You're not going to believe this, but my beautiful back is hurting. It really is a beautiful back, though. Have you seen it? You should. It's nice quite as nice as this:

Or this bad boy:

It's more like this:

But my beautifully sketched is not working as it should be today. It's the same old thing your grandmother probably complains about, the soreness and general achieness.

So that's been all day, at least since I worked out this morning, but then tonight I made dinner tonight and Wifey pointed out to me that it appeared as if I'd been shot.

OK, maybe not that bad, but it felt like that. OK, so I didn't actually feel anything, but I did have a load of 8 different blood splotches. OK, it was spaghetti and red sauce that I'd made for dinner, and it was just little bit of smudges of the lovely tasting marinara knock-off. So with me being the "clothes cleaner" of the house, what's ailing The Ry-ry tonight is that I'll have to be sure those stains make it out of the white T-shirt, and I'll have to pick it up from the hamper with my poor, achy back. Aw, shucks.

head, knee, inner head

2008-07-03T11:37:00.004-05:00

You wanna know what's wrong today? I'll tell you. The fact that I forgot to put the coconut in the rice last night. That would have tasted so good with the (too) spicy shrimp lettuce wraps. Alas, I'll have all day to think about how I had the opportunity to make a good meal better, especially because Wifey reminded me as I was making the meal. DOH!

Seriously, and aren't I always serious here, We got a little headache forming and some knee pain in the left knee. But the biggest thing I've got to contend with today is nerves. Got a big round of golf to play this weekend (yes I nknow that I haven't played golf since tearing the ACL, and that just a couple of weeks after Tiger Woods wins the US Open ona torn ACL and broken leg, but that's neither here nor there). I'm not a good golfer, but I enjoy it. And this weekend I'm playing my big brother and my sister-in-law's boyfriend - heretofore called "Matt". I don't know his real name, because it's not really something that affects me, yet. When I meet him later today, it'll matter, but now, not so much. I'm hoping he looks somewhat like John Daly - shown here in mid-swing - looking GOOD!

I've proposed that we gamble a couple of duckets on each hole, but these two are being pansies - shocker, and don't want to lose money. Well, truth be told, I'm going to be the only who would actually be losing any money. Suckers. So, we've settled on a drinking game of one shot for each shot over par (3 max). Of course, I'll be losing in strokes, but I'll be winning in spirit. Niice. FORE!

some stuff just isn't going well, but you knew that already

2008-07-02T21:44:00.007-05:00

It is so tough (I really wanted to write tuff, but something forced me to do it here in parenthesis - don't know what to call that) being The Ry-ry. As you can see in the picture of me to the right side. Well, maybe not me exactly, but definitely what the Wifey must see in me at least. I don't know why she puts up with it, I guess because of the nice ring I got her a couple of years ago - or the fact that she likes knowing she can call me out on it when I "cry" about stuff (tuff stuff), to which I have no recourse. Maybe it's the same thing in her that loves to hear about single people and their dating lives. Either way, she's gracious enough to stick around with me, which is good. But last night I was in a mood worthy of a post (sorry it's become so scattered, BTW). Nothing that bad was going on, and having recently celebrated our anniversary, it's been good times here on the homestead.

So with no provocation, something in me went a li'l nuts and I started railing on all kinds of insignificant annoyances. The long and short of it is that What's Ailing The Ry-ry was in a pissy mood. Something that looked like this:
Well, that's not very nice. And not good for that Karma thing either, so today I was dealt the ol' Stiff Neck. The kind that isn't bad enough to keep your head constantly cocked to the side, but the kind that makes you think all day about what position you were in last night, in hopes of avoiding it the next night (and ever again).

Oh, and I've got a toenail that I'm pretty sure id being infected as we read, and will probably have me in throes of pain very shortly. Like ten, fifteen hours. Ouch in advance.

The last thing I'm gonna tell you about is that I don't proof-read these before they are posted, so I spend about 5 mins. after wondering how I did in the grammar dept., but then spend days psyching myself out of doing another post for several days. Yikes! It seems The Ry-ry may have more ailing him in the head than the body. Shh, don't tell anyone - it would shatter the self confidence, which you can see below in the center gentleman (me).

2008-06-23T08:20:00.005-05:00

Look, I know what you're thinking "I'm sick of reading about The Ry-ry and his painful knees". I'm sick of writing it. I'm sick of feeling it. But when the feeling strikes you, it must be discussed. And for a little spice, how about the right leg, instead of the left one with the torn ACL. It's more fun that way.

And last week, I wasn't able to to post because I was bent over in pain from the stomach region. I guess I could have posted if I'd had the new iMac Floor Model. But alas, I am without. Sorry about all that, Gentle Viewers.

So, let me tell you what is not Ailing the Ry-ry. The lovely Wifey is what's keeping the Ry-ry sane. We just celebrated our 3rd Anniversary, and happier I could not be. I will not speak for her, though, as I'm pretty sure that my enthusiasm would be met her trademarked straight-faced hatefulness... I mean thoughtfulness. Not hateful. Really, she's quite lovely. There were many great things that happened while we visited Paducah, KY, not the least of which was the winning of the Grand Prize by the Wifey. A raffle for those partook in the "Tourist for a Day" program (Details of which I will not bore you to death with) resulting in our prize package including $200 of Gift Certs. and a couple of T-shirts. Sweet. Good work, Wifey. Love you, and thanks for putting up with all my complaining.

gas, the cheap kind

2008-06-16T15:24:00.006-05:00

Well, I got the gas. And it's the bad kind that makes a baby's face like this:

Aaarrgghh, it is killing my spirit. Thank GOD Tiger won eventually, I think that might release some of the pressure. I can hope, can't I? Don't really know where it came from, but I'm pretty sure the people sitting around me tonight (at the sneak peak of Get Smart) will be loving me if this continues. I've taken some pills, I've got a nice big bag full of OTC meds and a couple of 'scrips, but who knows if they actually work. Usually it just dissapates on itself, or the pills work. I'm obviously very well versed on the subject.

Here's what I really need:

it's not on my person, but it's on the nose

2008-06-13T14:33:00.005-05:00

I'm not looking that well through the left eye. It's, surprisingly, not because the eye itself is not working properly, but because I'm the kind of moron that will run with eyeglasses folded up and jammed into the button area so that while I'm running around the stadium at my awesome usher job (wearing the prescription sunglasses) the glasses pop out and I have no idea. So really I was lucky to even get them back. But in my luck, I was not happy to see that a new addition had been made to the glasses... a wonderful set of scratches on the ol' left eye lens. So now I've been going to different eye wear places around town getting the bad news that it's not really possible to "buff out" the scratches because, duh! that's how the lens work. We make them concave at the appropriate angle so that when viewed through, it matches the imperfections in the eyeball! Please note the picture has the scratches in a highlighted section, showing off just how many and varied the scratches are. Niice.

Awww, this will surely be my demise. Aaarrrrgggggh!!!

hot air

2008-06-09T14:21:00.006-05:00

It may be hard to believe, but I've been really busy this week with work, and after work I've not wanting to go upstairs to the computer due to the hot, hot heat due to the lack of the air conditioner. So I was thinking that I was doing well, no real ailments. But then I discovered that the new sauna we'd unintentionally had installed upstairs is what's ailing the Ry-ry. Damned air conditioner is the key. Here's a picture, but the computer is just to the left of the frame. We are supposed to have someone come out today and take a look (the second time already in this young summer month), but have yet to hear from anyone at the great Unnamed HVAC company.

So you're wondering "What the hell am I reading? This is not what I came here to read. Stupid house problems? Pth! Don't CARE!!" Well, let me tell you wise reader... Good point. You want to know what's Ailing the Ry-ry? I'll tell you. I got the heat in my pants. My loinal (nice, new word) area has so much friction that I place copious amounts of baby powder (not talc powder because I have the baby-soft skin). And then there's the overall heat, over the whole body. I can't wear the 3-year old beautiful watch my wife gave me on our wedding day because I don't like the sweat running down the top of the hand to the fingers. I met a guy last weekend who, like me, was using a sweat towel at the outdoor party. Cool guy, but he had me by about 100 pounds, and I prefer to think I'm not as sweaty as 300 pound guy on a regular basis. Alas, it's ailing the Ry-ry.

And then there's feet. Today I'm wearing a pair of shoes that I usually wear with socks, but earlier this summer I decided I'd like to not wear socks for as long as possible through the summer. So the heels are getting scraped the F up all day, especially on the left foot. Damned SOCKS!

That's all for now, but you've spurned my ire and I'm feeling more posts to come again soon.

PS -
Please take my poll and let your friends vote, too. Thanks. RT